Co-parenting is often one of the most challenging situations you’ll encounter during your separation and divorce. It requires you to create and define a new relationship with your former partner, based solely on your co-parenting goals — and in the beginning especially, this can be incredibly difficult. Want to create an amicable co-parenting relationship with your former partner? Try following these four steps:
Don’t engage in tug of war: Drop that rope and learn to pick your battles. If your former partner is insisting on pulling back, don’t keep pushing ahead. Try to find a middle ground.
Be consistent with your actions and your words: The focus of your conversations should always be on keeping your children happy, healthy, and successful in their lives. Whenever you’re struggling to communicate with your former partner in a positive way, remind yourself of this goal and keep your messaging and your actions on track.
Stick to the facts: Avoid emotionally-charged communications, and refrain from sharing your opinions — for now, at least. Save your hot takes for your friends or your therapist.
Set clear boundaries and have an exit strategy: How and when will you communicate with each other? What discussion topics are off-limits? Think about these questions and set clear boundaries with your former partner to help you both feel more comfortable in this situation. Prepare tools and phrases to help you make an easy exit when necessary. (ie. Can we chat about this later today after I have more time to think about it?)
Feel whole, hopeful and happy while you crush divorce and transform into your authentic self with quick wins, mindset shifts and growth through mindful reflection. All that helped me to quickly re-set during challenging and forgiving times through divorce.
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