To celebrate the launch of her new book Make Lemonade, life coach, speaker, and author Alicia Robertson recently hosted an amazing panel of leading ladies who shared their own personal journeys through separation. Just like Alicia, these women discovered how to not just survive their divorce, but to thrive through it by transforming their lives. They also shared some of the key steps and strategies they used to come out the other side of their own separations as a more whole, happy, and healthy version of themselves.
Missed the masterclass? Don’t worry, we’ve got the highlights for you with six of the best pieces of advice shared by the panellists so that you can learn how they confidently created their best lives through divorce:
Understand what’s preventing you from thriving through your divorce: Whether it’s being scared of the unknown, feeling embarrassed about your separation, being uninformed about divorce, or struggling with the limiting beliefs you’re telling yourself, you’re likely running into at least one of these common roadblocks in your journey. Conquering these personal struggles is the first step in healing and transforming your life for the better.
Learn what tools can support your transition from partnership to single life: Therapy, journalling, and meditation were top of the list when it came to resources the masterclass panellists turned to in the early days of their separations. “Words are so powerful,” explained etalk reporter Sonia Mangat. “I don’t think we realize how much power is in the words we speak about ourselves and our lives. I remember having sticky notes around my home, and one said, ‘The best is yet to come.’ It was such an important reminder to me that today may not be the best, but the best is yet to come.”
Rediscover your purpose and self-worth to help you become an even better version of yourself: Let’s say that one more time: you can come out the other side of your divorce as an even better version of yourself. With a growth mindset, a positive attitude, personal accountability, and self-awareness, this is absolutely achievable for everyone who is going through a separation. But how do you get there? “Be open-minded and get curious to what can come along,” suggested Wendy Valentine, coach and hostess of The Midlife Makeover Show. “I feel like your purpose changes. If you’re open and willing to evolve, the universe will lay out the pathways for you.”
For writer and photographer Anna Kloots, the key was to remind herself who she was, what made her happy, and what made her feel fulfilled. “I reconnected to who I was because I had lost that in my marriage,” said Anna. “So I found my purpose by reminding myself what I loved, what I was good at, what I enjoyed, and what things were ‘me’ at my core. And it was like lightning. As soon as I was able to do those things again, it was fireworks.”
Save yourself time, money, and heartache during the divorce process by being proactive: If Anna Kloots could give advice to her younger self at the beginning of her divorce journey, it would start with: “Don’t wait to call the lawyer two weeks from now because you’re sad. Call the lawyer today.” When you’re first starting the process of separation, it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by grief and fear. But knowledge is power, and the sooner you can learn the facts of the situation and understand what’s going to happen next, you’ll begin to feel less fearful and more in control. “The more knowledge you have, the better you feel, and the better you can make decisions and start to plan,” explained Anna. “For me, staying in that limbo stage was the worst.”
Remember that you are the only one in control of your life, and that it’s okay to “reposition” it: Sonia Mangat shared that she doesn’t like to use the word divorce. “Think of it as ‘repositioning’,” she explained. “You’re repositioning your life. You’ve made a choice, but it wasn’t the best choice for you. And we all go through life making certain choices that we think are the best in that moment, but just because you didn’t make the right choice doesn’t mean you’re stuck in it. It’s still your life, you still have control over it, and you’re just now shifting and repositioning your life.”
Don’t look at divorce as the end: Wendy Valentine closed out the panel with this beautiful piece of advice: “Don’t look at divorce as the end. You have no idea the butterfly you can become through your divorce. My biggest suggestion to anyone going through divorce is to just believe in yourself and know that you will show your beautiful colours, you will fly, and you will be so much more amazing than you thought you would be.” Your relationship may be over, but remember – your new life is just beginning!
Feel whole, hopeful and happy while you crush divorce and transform into your authentic self with quick wins, mindset shifts and growth through mindful reflection. All that helped me to quickly re-set during challenging and forgiving times through divorce.
We respect your privacy.