If you’re preparing for divorce, this is probably you:

• Screenshotting advice on Instagram

• Joining Facebook groups

• Listening to ten different podcasts

• Downloading checklists

• Googling legal terms

• Reading stories from women in high-conflict divorces

• Watching TikToks at 2 a.m.

• Trying to understand what’s “normal”
  

And still…

You feel stuck.
Paralyzed.
Afraid to take the wrong step.

This is the External Answers Blindspot — the belief that if you can just gather enough information, you will finally feel certain enough to act.

But here’s the truth:

Information doesn’t create certainty.

Strategy does.
And clarity does.
And self-leadership does.

Why This Blindspot Happens

Divorce is full of unknowns:

• Will he get angry?

• What will happen with custody?

• Can I afford my life?

• Will a lawyer make things worse?

• What if I’m missing something important?

• How do I protect my kids?
  

Your brain thinks information will soothe the anxiety.

But instead of calming you…

It overwhelms you.

Because each source contradicts the last.
Each woman’s story is different.
Each lawyer has a different approach.
Each social media post is designed for virality, not accuracy.

Your nervous system starts to spiral:

“I just need to understand more before I decide.”

And the divorce timeline quietly stretches…

2 months…
6 months…
1 year…
Sometimes longer.

How This Blindspot Shows Up

Women stuck in this pattern:

• Delay hiring a lawyer

• Avoid important conversations

• Wait for a “sign”

• Jump between legal paths

• Stay in bad patterns because they don’t feel prepared

• Believe they need to know everything before doing anything

• Overspend on courses and books

• Ask 20 people what to do and end up even more confused

• Let their former partner control the timeline

• Lose negotiating power through inaction
  

This blindspot steals time, energy, money, and momentum.

A Real Example (Names Changed)

Maria spent nine months researching separation.

She collected everything:

• 200 screenshots

• 3 binders

• A spreadsheet of lawyers

• A notebook full of questions

• Comments from strangers online
  

But she still hadn’t taken a single step.

Her husband sensed her hesitancy and used it against her — reorganizing finances, shifting income, closing accounts, and positioning himself for a stronger negotiation.

By the time she came to us, she had lost leverage she didn’t realize she ever had.

She thought she was preparing.
But she was actually avoiding.

That’s the External Answers Blindspot.

Why Information Will Never Be Enough

Because divorce is not a standardized process.

It’s a strategy, and your strategy must be customized to:

• Your income

• Your assets

• Your state laws

• Your co-parenting dynamic

• Your partner’s personality

• Your risk level

• Your future goals

• Your ability to negotiate

• Your emotional patterns
  

No Google search can account for that.

And no checklist can tell you what you personally should ask for, avoid, prioritize, or protect.

Breaking the Blindspot

This is the shift that changes everything:

**You don’t need more information.

You need a plan that fits your life.**

Ask yourself:

• What am I trying to avoid by researching more?

• What decision am I scared to make?

• What would happen if I moved forward before having all the answers?

• What is the ONE next step I know I need to take?

• Who can help me create a plan, not just gather facts?
  

Your goal is not to be fully certain.
Your goal is to be supported, informed, and strategic.

Once you stop outsourcing clarity, your strength and direction return.

If this blindspot resonates…

It’s a sign you’re ready for more than information.

You’re ready for strategy, support, and a structured plan.

This is exactly why we exist — so women don’t stay stuck in research loops that cost them precious time, power, and stability.

Ready to explore what that might look like for you?

👉 Book your free strategy call here

Let’s make sure you’re leading—not reacting—to whatever happens next.