How to Use Your Dating Profile to Rediscover Yourself Post-divorce

Dating after divorce might not be a high priority for you — in fact, it might sound downright terrifying. But what if we switched the focus, and instead of centering this new chapter of your life around finding a new match, you actually concentrated your energy on finding a new you?

The early years of your post-divorce life is a journey of self-exploration, and believe it or not, preparing yourself for the dating pool by writing up your dating profile can actually be a really helpful part of this process. Here are 3 key things to keep in mind in order to make this experiment work for you:

Your personal vision should be your dating profile: What are you learning and who are you becoming? Are your actions and choices in alignment with where you want to be? These are all questions you should be focusing on discovering the answers to during this time in your life, and they’ll all help inform your profile. Your dating profile should truly reflect who you are and who you’re working to become.

Your dating profile should give you goosebumps: First and foremost, you need to be excited about your dating profile. You can’t expect someone else to be thrilled to learn all about you, when you’re rolling your own eyes when reading back your bio. You have to be excited about who you are, what you hope to achieve, and who you’re becoming. Your dating profile is for you first, as it sums up exactly what your story is.

Have the courage and vulnerability to put the perfectly imperfect you forward: None of us are perfect — so don’t try to pretend otherwise. Even at this time when your self-worth may still be low, remember that your dating profile isn’t about showing your flawless self, it’s about showing your true self. Never compromise who you are, your values, or your identity, and use your profile to display how you truly show up in the world.

And, of course, writing your dating profile will also help to make your dating adventures more successful, too, because being clear about who you are and what you want will actually save you time in the long run. Knowing yourself and what you want out of this experience will help you identify good and bad matches, and pivot quickly when necessary. The better equipped you are going into this experience, the easier you’ll be able to build your competence in the dating scene without getting burned and scared off too quickly. It’s tough out there — but a confident you can be tougher.