Whether through swiping, going out to bars, or being set up by friends, you really can find love after divorce. And the process doesn’t have to be as terrifying as you might think it is, either. We’ve all heard the horror stories about post-divorce dating, and maybe you’re scared that you’re not young enough, fit enough, or successful enough to find a match again at this stage in your life.
These aren’t truths though – they’re just limiting beliefs that are preventing you from pursuing what you really want. But society’s narrative definitely makes it hard to override that thought process and crush the negative stigma around dating at a certain age. With a bit of effort though (and maybe some guidance from friends, family, or influencers who’ve been through this), we can shift our mindset by looking at some of the positive things about dating again post-divorce. Here are three reasons why dating after divorce is actually awesome:
There’s so much less pressure. When you were dating in your 20s, you probably felt some societal pressure to meet the right person by a certain age, so that you could follow along the prescribed path of getting engaged, getting married, buying a house, and having kids. But this time around, you can approach dating with a blank slate. If you already have your home, your career, your financial security, and your family, you now have the opportunity to date just for fun.
You have the freedom of choice. Without that nagging pressure to settle down with someone in time to have kids, you’ll find that you finally have the true luxury of choice. When you start dating again, cast a wide net and be ready to pivot fast. You don’t have to justify any issues you spot in a match, and you don’t have to stick with someone you can “see the potential” in. The second that something doesn't feel like a good fit or you get that icky feeling, it’s time to move on. If you can shift your mindset to focus on finding someone who complements your life, rather than feeling the need to find someone in order to have a happy life, you’ll realize that there’s no sense of desperation anymore. Try to focus on having fun with your new dating life, and think about these encounters as an opportunity to learn or experience something new.
You can make your own rules. What are your priorities for a new relationship? Maybe you want someone to have fun with, have sex with, and share new life experiences with. Or maybe you want to blend them into your existing family, or have children with them. There are no right or wrong answers here: You can make this new relationship be whatever you want, and integrate it into your existing life in any way that you’d like. Really, this is just dating – it doesn’t have to instantly become a new life-long partnership.
Feel whole, hopeful and happy while you crush divorce and transform into your authentic self with quick wins, mindset shifts and growth through mindful reflection. All that helped me to quickly re-set during challenging and forgiving times through divorce.
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