Co-parenting is often one of the most challenging situations you’ll encounter during your separation or divorce. It requires you to create and define a new relationship with your former partner, based solely on your co-parenting goals. In the beginning especially, this can feel incredibly difficult.

If you’re looking to create an amicable co-parenting relationship with your former partner, try following these four steps:

1. Don’t engage in tug of war: Drop that rope and learn to pick your battles. If your former partner is insisting on pulling back, don’t keep pushing ahead. Try to find a middle ground.

2. Be consistent with your actions and your words: The focus of your conversations should always be on keeping your children happy, healthy, and successful in their lives. Whenever you’re struggling to communicate with your former partner in a positive way, remind yourself of this goal and keep your messaging and your actions on track.

3. Stick to the facts: Avoid emotionally-charged communications, and refrain from sharing your opinions — for now, at least. Save your hot takes for your friends or your therapist.

4. Set clear boundaries (and have an exit strategy): How and when will you communicate with each other? What discussion topics are off-limits? Think about these questions and set clear boundaries with your former partner to help you both feel more comfortable in this situation. Prepare tools and phrases to help you make an easy exit when necessary. (ie. Can we chat about this later today after I have more time to think about it?)

Co-Parenting Can Get Easier—With the Right Support

Navigating co-parenting can be overwhelming, especially in the early stages of separation.

Our coaching programs can help give you clear strategies, personalized support, and a community of women who've been where you are.

Apply for coaching today to get the clarity, confidence, and tools to move forward—on your terms.